Birmingham June 2023 — In Birmingham’s Pakistani community, Father’s Day passed not with extravagance but with small, heartfelt gestures — a home-cooked dish, a walk to the park, or a whispered dua after prayers. For many fathers, the day became an opportunity to pause from the rush of work and reflect on what raising children abroad means.
“I never marked Father’s Day when I lived in Gujranwala,” said Naveed, a father of four who now works in a grocery shop in Small Heath. “But my children here remind me. They brought tea and biscuits in the morning and said, ‘Abbu, dua karo.’ For me, that was enough. Bas duaon se ghar chal raha hai.”
Struggles with Time
Like many in Birmingham’s working-class neighbourhoods, Pakistani fathers often spend long hours outside the home. Arif, a minicab driver from Sparkhill, admitted the demands can be overwhelming. “By the time I come home, my youngest is already asleep. On Father’s Day they gave me a card, and I realised how quickly they are growing. Bachpan ka waqt dobara nahi milta.”
The pressure to provide is constant, but so is the desire to be present. “We came here for better opportunities,” said Riaz, a father of two teenage boys. “Alhamdulillah, they have schools, sports, everything. But sometimes, I feel guilty that I miss their milestones because of work.”
Holding to Traditions
While British customs like cards and breakfast in bed have found their way into Pakistani households, many families still anchor the day in cultural and religious practices. Saeed, a father of three daughters, described how they surprised him with a small cake. “They learnt it from their school friends,” he said, smiling. “But before cutting it, they stood beside me and recited a short surah. Dil ko sukoon mila.”
Others emphasised service over gifts. In Bordesley Green, a 12-year-old boy spent the afternoon washing his father’s car, while his sister cooked korma for dinner. “We don’t have money for big presents,” their father, Bilal, explained. “But their effort showed respect. That is enough.”
Looking Ahead
For younger fathers, the day was a reminder of responsibility. Sameer, holding his newborn daughter at the mosque after Zuhr prayers, said, “Today I prayed only one thing — that Allah gives me the strength to guide her. Sirf rozi nahi, rehnumai bhi farz hai.”
Others reflected on what they had learnt since moving to Birmingham decades ago. “Back home in Pakistan, extended families share the burden,” said Abdul Hameed, now retired. “Here it is just you, your wife, and children. It is harder, but it makes the bond stronger too.”
A Quiet but Meaningful Day
In Birmingham, Father’s Day may not have the fanfare seen elsewhere, but its meaning was clear. For some, it was a WhatsApp video call with children away at university; for others, it was a simple family meal at home.
As one father summed it up: “Cards and cakes are nice, but what matters most is presence. Bachon ko yeh yaqeen ho ke unka walid unke saath hai. That is the real Father’s Day.”
اردو خلاصہ:
برمنگھم میں پاکستانی والدوں نے فادرز ڈے سادہ طریقے سے منایا۔ کئی گھروں میں بچوں نے کھانا بنایا یا والدین کے ساتھ وقت گزارا۔ والدین نے بتایا کہ برطانیہ میں روزگار کی مصروفیات کے باوجود اصل ذمہ داری بچوں کے ساتھ رہنمائی اور وقت دینا ہے۔ تحفے کم اہم تھے، اصل خوشی دعا اور ساتھ ہونے میں تھی۔
